Still Learning...

It is a little sad to me to sit here and write this thinking that 20 years from now, I won't remember every single moment that happened today with Jaycee or her growing sister. For example, after dinner I sat Jaycee down to have dessert (pumpkin pie in case you were wondering). She wanted to stand to have her dessert, which I generally don't allow, but decided to let her when I saw how excited she was. After a few minutes of standing on the chair and eating, Jaycee leaned over to me, gave me a gigantic hug and a wonderful kiss. It pains me to think that I won't remember that specific moment that was so important to me today. Sure, there will be the rare occasion that something crazy happens and I'll remember it forever, but inevitably the memory will get fuzzy around the edges and turn in to more of a folk story than an event. It happens to all of us I guess and it is a part of life. That doesn't mean I have to like it. Then another life lesson emerges from the teachings of the wisest 19 month old I have ever met. Jaycee won't remember any of this either. She won't remember the hug and kiss from today, or our terrifying emergency room visit last year that turned out to be the overreaction of two scared new parents. She won't remember how it felt to go to the zoo or Alaska as a family. You know what she will remember though? She'll remember that her daddy loved her from day one. She'll remember that daddy has always protected her and guided her, encouraged and smiled for her, and she'll remember that no matter what this crazy world throws at her, her daddy will always be right behind her to catch her. If for some crazy reason, Jaycee or her siblings are reading this twenty years from now: I can only hope you got half as much from me that I got from you. And I hope you know how much I love you. And I hope you aren't reading this as late at night as I am writing it...

Tick Tock Tick Tock...

I have never been a very patient person. Waiting just makes me anxious, so I try not to do it very often. Of course, when waiting for a baby, one doesn't have the luxury of not waiting. So basically, I'm anxious.

The funny thing about this round is that some of those concerns I had with Jaycee are there. Like, having a happy healthy baby, being a good dad, and all those other general concerns. At the same time, I noticed that a lot of those other fears from round one are gone. Like, changing diapers, how much my life would change, having a girl, and all those other fears of the unknown.

I am kind of entering this step with confident cautiousness. Sort of like when you watch a clip on T.V. where someone falls off a bike and breaks his leg. You know its coming and you are kind of curios, but you also turn your head slightly like it makes it easier to watch out of the corner of your eye.

This is just one of those times where I just want it to be here. The more time I'm left to myself the more anxious I get. Not to say ALL the anxiety is bad. I am really anxious to see Jaycee interact with her sister and am excited to see her in the role of big sister. I am SO looking forward to holding a tiny little creature that won't squirm out of my arms and I can't wait to rock a newborn until she falls asleep with her little hands and feet and toes and lips and nose. I guess kids are kind of like potato chips, you can't just have one... unless that's all you want...

What a difference a year makes...

The worst part of the summer break is here... the end of it. I am happy to say that we got a lot done though. Our Alaskan adventure, our trip to Solvang, visiting with relatives and cousins we don't get to see very often, our visits to Sea World, the Wild Animal Park, and Zoo, and of course our lazy days by the pool, and the list continues. As I think about all the stuff we crammed in, I couldn't help but think about last year's summer vacation. Twelve short months ago we had a very different Jaycee, as the pictures illustrate.

We have a mouth full of teeth, words, and a lean mean running machine (to name a few things). Since I have become a boring adult, it seems like each year that passes just means I have to remember how old I am and nothing really changes except that. But as I look back on this year, I see how much life really does fly by us. I hate all those silly clichés that every parent says: "Enjoy them while they are young", "They grow up so fast", "You'll never get these years back" and a whole bunch of other one liners. The thing is they are true, but the other thing is that even with all that knowledge, you can't stop time. I guess even if I could stop time, I probably wouldn't. Part of the fun has been watching these changes and enjoying new discoveries.

So, as this life clumsily tumbles down the road, I watch our little baby turn into a big girl and prepare to welcome a new baby to do it all over again. I picture my life something like a train ride along the coast. As we steadily climb hills, I stick my head out the window and feel the cool breeze in my hair. I look ahead and see plenty more hills along the windy tracks, but then I turn my head to look behind us and I see all the ground we have covered and those big hills look like little speed bumps and those windy tracks look more like subtle curves. Its time like these when a man just has to sit back, take a deep breath and say "Life is Good"...

Everyone loves little girls, especially their Daddys...

So, how lucky am I to soon be the proud Daddy of yet another little pink bundle! Before Jaycee arrived, I went through the whole boy/girl debate in my head and when she got here, it all seemed so silly to try and categorize life with a boy versus a girl and vice versa.

When we were thinking about expanding our family, I knew early on that I wanted another little lady. It isn't like I don't want a boy, its more like I had a vision of my life and it just felt like at least two girls would fit perfectly.

Then on the realistic side of life, I am pretty happy that we get to recycle a bunch of baby girl clothes, toys, bedding, and every other gender specific thing we have from Jaycee's early days. Then there is the fact that Jaycee and her sister will be close in age, so I have a good hope that they will get along famously and be great friends throughout life.

I guess for me, the most important part of building my family is creating a solid foundation and safety net that will always be here, even if I'm not. Boy or girl, growing our family is a cornerstone of any strong family. When I think of some of the amazing families around me, I find the common thread of togetherness as an immediate family. That isn't to say that extended family isn't important, because it is. I like to think of it as torch passing. The core of a family lies in its immediate family and when immediate becomes extended, the core moves as well.

I suppose I am stating the obvious, but sometimes I need to do that. Its like taking a step back to look at a gigantic canvas that is your life's work in progress. I have never been an artist, but when it comes to my family, call me Van Gogh...

Leavin' on a Jet plane...

This summer has started off with a big bang! We had our first family vacation when we went on our Alaskan cruising adventure, then we went on our first family road trip to central California to visit with family. As we rushed around packing and stressed out at the airport, it occurred to me how much more complicated it is to travel with a little one. It adds a whole new element of worry that I didn't anticipate.

Anyone who has had the unfortunate experience of flying with me knows what a horrible traveler I am. For some reason, as soon as the automatic doors spread open at LAX (or Heathrow, San Diego, SFO, Atlanta, etc.) and I walk in, I lose my mind. I become this confused/stressed whirlwind who mutters his gate number over and over as I pace around the terminal waiting for my row to be called to board. Then when I get on the plane, I am not much better as my palms begin to sweat and I question the pilot's training and whether the plane is properly maintained. Then, as the plane's engines power up, I wait to hear the clunk of an engine falling off the wing. So you think its better when I'm airborne? Wrong. Instead, I spend the duration of the flight tense and sweaty waiting for the pilot to announce some kind of emergency landing all the while staring at the guy in the row in front of me that is asleep and has been since he sat down and I think about kicking his seat until he wakes up partly from jealousy and partly because he should be awake since he is sitting next to the emergency exit and should remain vigilant in case we should need his services. Then... the landing. The sounds make me wish I was deaf and all I can do is contemplate my quickest escape route should the wheel fall off the plane as we land and come to a sliding stop on the runway. For the most part, the whole experience I described occurs internally and people around me are unaware that they are seated next to the worst plane passenger in the air. So you can imagine what adding Jaycee to the mix did to me. As if pacing around the terminal wasn't enough, now I had to push a stroller in circles with me. My escape plans became more elaborate and I was forced to plan who I would have to push out of the way should the inflatable slides pop out of the sides of the plane. The funny thing is, for the most part, the 20 some flights I have been on have been basically difficulty free (knocking on the biggest piece of wood in the room repeatedly) and safe. I am aware that my thought process is irrational and unnecessary, but I really can't help it. I wish I could.

With all that behind me, I can proudly report that Jaycee is the ultimate traveler. It took her all of 5 minutes to figure out that the plane was awesome and that she could flop around like a monkey while staring out the window that gives her a view from 37,000 feet. Then it hit me like only a lesson from Jaycee can. This is what being a parent is about. Inside you could be a wreck on the brink of meltdown, but on the outside your kids would think it is business as usual. Don't mean to toot my horn, but I think I accomplished that much. I guess I am happy once we land at our destination and should try to focus on that, right? Here's to the sleeping guy in the emergency row and anyone else who reads this story and laughs. For those of you not laughing... we should start a support group...

Seriously...

One at a time...

Here we are again. In 6 short months we will be welcoming the newest member of the Becerra Family. I am totally excited and looking forward to the adventures we will encounter as a family of four. It seems like since Jaycee was born, life has been this crazy super fast roller coaster that doesn't have an end point. As we go along, we hit a loop-de-loop and before we get situated, we dive into a stomach-dropping plunge that leaves us reeling. Even with that, it is easily the most fun I have ever had in my life. So when the time came to talk about number two, there wasn't much of a conversation. Of course I wanted another little munchkin running around! I thought about all the fun things we would do and how much Jaycee would love a sibling.

Then a little nagging thought...

What about Jaycee? All those times where we sat together poking the dogs and laughing. Or the time we spent playing with toys or reading books. The Adventures of Jaycee and Her Daddy will never be the same. I spent a lot of time these past couple of weeks thinking about all those things that make a grown man cry and some of them did. Then, I finally put things in the proper context. Things will change and that has been the theme as Jaycee has been growing. Nothing has been the same from one day to the next, so now it just means we will get the chance to watch another little baby grow and Jaycee will get to be there with us learning and growing too.

Is this a time to be sad? I guess so. But, what am I sad about? That we are bringing another source of happiness and love into our lives? Hardly something to be upset about. Besides, by the time BB2 (Baby Becerra #2) arrives, I won't even have time to think about what is going on. One at a time daddy, one at a time...

Round Two...

So, to the surprise of few and the joy of many, we have an official announcement: Jess is pregnant!! We are happy to share our wonderful news that Jaycee will be a big sister in December.

FAQs

Q: Was this planned?

A: Yes. Next.

Q: How has Jess been feeling?

A: She has been doing well. She has been feeling tired lately, but other than that, all is well.

Q: When is the next one?

A: Hahahahahaha. Next.

Q: Any other big news?

A: Yes actually. I'm glad you asked. Jess recently discovered that she will no longer suffer at the hands of six graders! She has been reassigned to a great new school and has third graders. For those of you not familiar with six graders, this is a very good thing.

Q: Do you have some names chosen?

A: Yes. Next.

Q: What are they?

A: You'll have to wait and see.

I hope this FAQ list has answered many of your questions. We are hoping that, with some luck, The Becerra Bunch will be replacing John and Kate Plus Eight soon, so any other questions will have to be directed to our publicist.

Just Kidding. We are holding out for a sitcom. Anyway, we are very excited and cannot wait for our new little one to bring even more love and joy into our little home...