The day started off calm. One at a time, my precious angels awoke. First Josh, then Jayden and finally Jaycee. Each of them were groggy for a bit and were content to stare at the couch until the invisible shackles slumped from their shoulders and they could finally move. I sat still and quietly much like a cage cleaner who gets locked in a cage of lethargic lions and is trying not to be noticed.
As if some imaginary gun shot in the air, they all scrabbled like rabbits. The rest of the morning I spent chasing, looking for, scolding and spinning in circles. Then Jaycee bolted for the bathroom. She had to take her morning number 2. As I was heading to check on her I see Jayden out of the corner of my eye, squatting with a red face and teary eyes behind the rocking chair. Clearly she is also creating a work of art in her diaper. As I head over to handle that, little Josh tugs on my leg. I pick him up and quickly realize that he also answered natures call and has successful filled his diaper with foulness.
I take the baby to the changer table and we are followed by Jayden. I lay him down and start to take his diaper off. As I do this I see Jayden is trying to help me by removing her diaper as well. Normally this isn't a probably except for the fact that she has a round brown ball about to roll out. As if on cue, Jaycee begins to yell "I'm all done!" every 4 or 5 seconds.
I somehow manage to get everyone taken care of without getting poop on the walls and am already exhausted. I look at the clock hoping it is close to 2:45 p.m. (when Jess gets off work) and let out an unintended groan when I see 8:22 a.m.
I realize how far out of my league I am when I have to confiscate Jayden's foam baseball bat after she went on a 4 minute long reign of terror hitting anything breathing in the head with it and after fighting a 10 month old for my bowl of cereal. I decide its time to cheat. I throw them in the car and we hit the road. Destination: unknown.
Part 2 to this story to follow...