Validating Affirmations...

Life has been about as busy as it can get around here. Jess is fully immersed in work. As schools head into the sacred standardized testing phase of the year, she has been pretty loaded up with work/stress. I am pulling into my last year of school and I am finding out what a big difference there is between upper and lower division courses. I am in a hurry to get this done, so I am carrying a full load and also added on some classes at the community college. So now that Jess is back to work, I am working nights at my job on the weekdays, then I work Saturday and Sunday, most of the day. So during the week, three days a week, Jess is home all of 10 minutes, then I have to go to work. On the weekends, she is basically on her own since I usually have homework to do when I get home from work.

I don't write this in an attempt to solicit sympathy, I am fortunate to have all of the opportunities that I have been given and the above mentioned is me taking those opportunities. The reason I share this with you has to do with a recent minor event.

Lately, I have found myself driving to work in the dark after having kissed the girls goodbye and brushing shoulders with Jess on my way out and her way in, and I think about how not fun this is. I hate leaving when my family is home, knowing Jess is tired from her day and now she has to do night routines on her own. I wonder why I am stressing at school and why I go to work, the answers are not in the immediate future. Instead, they are a little ways down the road. Obviously, I go to work to pay the bills and I go to school so when I'm done, I can pay the bills with style, but I can't help thinking about today and the sacrifices we make now.

Then just when I think I can't take it any more, a tiny little event happens and sets me straight. Yesterday, I had to do some stuff around the house and it worked out that Jess had an invite to a party. So I helped Jess get everything ready for her trip, dressed Jaycee, put Jayden in her car seat, got bottles packed up, checked the diaper bag for supplies and some other routines. Then I carried Jayden out to the car and put her in, then said bye to everyone and watched them leave down the road. That's when it hit me like a Frisbee to the head. As I loaded my little family into the safest vehicle I could think of, I knew they were well stocked, comfortable, and most importantly, happy. All the "whys" disappeared and I got to work. To end this post, I tried to think of some famous and altruistic quote that would sum up my conclusion. As Dora the fish from Finding Nemo would say: "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...