When we were planning on starting our family, the idea of me being a stay at home dad was sort of tossed out on the table. After all, Jess was on her way to her degree and my commute to work was just too far. Our options began to seem endless. I could stay working and Jess could work part time. We could live on a shoestring budget and Jess could be at home with the little one while I worked. I could look for a new job closer to home at night; and the list goes on. In the end the best decision turned out to be for me to take the non traditional role of stay at home dad. I am very aware that it isn't common for a man to be at home with his baby while mom is off at work and at first it seemed a little strange. I have never known a stay at home dad and I didn't even know what one did. Then when Jaycee got here I figured it out pretty quick. Basically I do the same things every dad does, except I do it all day long. Needless to say, as time wore on being at home seemed normal (to me that is). While Jaycee and I were firmly in our routine I began to notice the double takes I was getting. Not like people physically couldn't believe their eyes, but more of the mental double take. You know, the one where you tell someone something they are not ready to hear and they raise their eyebrows slightly and give an awkward smile. This bothered me a little. I mean; what is the difference? I take care of my baby just like anyone else would. I change diapers, feed her, hug her, hold her, kiss her and all that other parent stuff. How does anyone know I'm not as good as anyone else out there? The point is: they don't. That is when I realized the importance of perspective. I guess I could stay offended and dread the "what kind of work do you do?" question, or I can totally embrace it. After all I have the BEST job in the world. Besides, I think I'm actually pretty good at this stuff. When I look at it that way, why should I be offended? I still manage to turn some of my tasks into man jobs. I have been known to take out the stop watch while I change the dirty diapers. I guess if I can say one thing it's this: if you ever come across a stay at home dad, try to keep the eyebrows down, I'm sure he loves his job. Oh and ask him if he's interested in a little diaper changing competition. The current champion (me) holds the record: 13 seconds wet and 38 seconds messy...
Monday, June 9, 2008
The Double Take...
When we were planning on starting our family, the idea of me being a stay at home dad was sort of tossed out on the table. After all, Jess was on her way to her degree and my commute to work was just too far. Our options began to seem endless. I could stay working and Jess could work part time. We could live on a shoestring budget and Jess could be at home with the little one while I worked. I could look for a new job closer to home at night; and the list goes on. In the end the best decision turned out to be for me to take the non traditional role of stay at home dad. I am very aware that it isn't common for a man to be at home with his baby while mom is off at work and at first it seemed a little strange. I have never known a stay at home dad and I didn't even know what one did. Then when Jaycee got here I figured it out pretty quick. Basically I do the same things every dad does, except I do it all day long. Needless to say, as time wore on being at home seemed normal (to me that is). While Jaycee and I were firmly in our routine I began to notice the double takes I was getting. Not like people physically couldn't believe their eyes, but more of the mental double take. You know, the one where you tell someone something they are not ready to hear and they raise their eyebrows slightly and give an awkward smile. This bothered me a little. I mean; what is the difference? I take care of my baby just like anyone else would. I change diapers, feed her, hug her, hold her, kiss her and all that other parent stuff. How does anyone know I'm not as good as anyone else out there? The point is: they don't. That is when I realized the importance of perspective. I guess I could stay offended and dread the "what kind of work do you do?" question, or I can totally embrace it. After all I have the BEST job in the world. Besides, I think I'm actually pretty good at this stuff. When I look at it that way, why should I be offended? I still manage to turn some of my tasks into man jobs. I have been known to take out the stop watch while I change the dirty diapers. I guess if I can say one thing it's this: if you ever come across a stay at home dad, try to keep the eyebrows down, I'm sure he loves his job. Oh and ask him if he's interested in a little diaper changing competition. The current champion (me) holds the record: 13 seconds wet and 38 seconds messy...
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