Temporary Insanity...

The insanity of parenthood is real, I could easily be a case study.
I am not just talking about how I go crazy sometimes with life or how sometimes the household is crazy, I mean those moments when you stop for a second and think "did I just do that?" or "that just happened" or better yet when you don't even know what you did until someone else notices.

Allow an example, long long ago(2 years), before Jaycee's arrival, I think back on some of the phone conversations Jess and I had. We talked about the day, the news, and other goings on. Just the other day when Jess called to check in at her lunch, we spent about 4 minutes on the phone talking about Jayden's poop of the day. Jess wanted all the nasty details and I was giving them without batting an eye. Our conversation was only cut short by the screeching of the cat whom Jaycee was sitting on top of giving him a "hug".

How about the time I answered the phone and it was one I actually had to take and Jaycee thought that'd be the perfect time to throw her toy across the room and start screaming about it only to cause Jayden to start crying because she was roused from a dead sleep. The insanity comes in when I held the phone with my shoulder made a bottle with my left hand, held Jayden's pacifier in her mouth and pinned Jaycee down between my ankles so she'd stop throwing stuff while I was on the phone.

And don't get me started on the stuff I have done, that I remember, when I was half asleep at some unholy hours. Now I know I am not the only one who has done this kind of stuff, so I am going to propose an exemption for us. Temporary insanity is loosely defined as temporarily not knowing the difference between right and wrong or not being able to process that concept, right? Well, I can think of many times I didn't know which way was up or down let alone right or wrong. So maybe traffic tickets and other annoyances can be defended by the temporary parental insanity approach. If anyone wanted evidence, they could come hang out with me for about 7 minutes...

Validating Affirmations...

Life has been about as busy as it can get around here. Jess is fully immersed in work. As schools head into the sacred standardized testing phase of the year, she has been pretty loaded up with work/stress. I am pulling into my last year of school and I am finding out what a big difference there is between upper and lower division courses. I am in a hurry to get this done, so I am carrying a full load and also added on some classes at the community college. So now that Jess is back to work, I am working nights at my job on the weekdays, then I work Saturday and Sunday, most of the day. So during the week, three days a week, Jess is home all of 10 minutes, then I have to go to work. On the weekends, she is basically on her own since I usually have homework to do when I get home from work.

I don't write this in an attempt to solicit sympathy, I am fortunate to have all of the opportunities that I have been given and the above mentioned is me taking those opportunities. The reason I share this with you has to do with a recent minor event.

Lately, I have found myself driving to work in the dark after having kissed the girls goodbye and brushing shoulders with Jess on my way out and her way in, and I think about how not fun this is. I hate leaving when my family is home, knowing Jess is tired from her day and now she has to do night routines on her own. I wonder why I am stressing at school and why I go to work, the answers are not in the immediate future. Instead, they are a little ways down the road. Obviously, I go to work to pay the bills and I go to school so when I'm done, I can pay the bills with style, but I can't help thinking about today and the sacrifices we make now.

Then just when I think I can't take it any more, a tiny little event happens and sets me straight. Yesterday, I had to do some stuff around the house and it worked out that Jess had an invite to a party. So I helped Jess get everything ready for her trip, dressed Jaycee, put Jayden in her car seat, got bottles packed up, checked the diaper bag for supplies and some other routines. Then I carried Jayden out to the car and put her in, then said bye to everyone and watched them leave down the road. That's when it hit me like a Frisbee to the head. As I loaded my little family into the safest vehicle I could think of, I knew they were well stocked, comfortable, and most importantly, happy. All the "whys" disappeared and I got to work. To end this post, I tried to think of some famous and altruistic quote that would sum up my conclusion. As Dora the fish from Finding Nemo would say: "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...

It's been awhile...

Instead of dwelling on the many reasons why I haven't posted in so long, I'll just pretend like I didn't have a two month gap, so you can pretend too.

So today is the day. The day our fearless leader (Momma/Jess) returned to work and dada is all by himself with the girls. Luckily I had time to prepare mentally for the transition and momma set up a routine that is pretty easy to follow. As of 9:30 am on February 8, all is well.

Now that enough time has passed and I am able to step back and look at my world, it is apparent that families are a lot like businesses. Maybe my observation has something to do with my school program that is centered around business development at the moment, but I digress. Each family needs an investment to grow (children) and employee retention (mom and dad's relationship) is key to that growth. I your company goes public, then you have to answer to share holders (day care, grand parents, extended family, etc.). Then, of course, if you invest wisely, then the dividends reflect your investment. For those of you rolling your eyes right now, I know; I'm a dork.

Life with two little girls is the best. I don't hear men say this often (maybe because I'm not around other men very often), but I love babies. Yes, I said it. I love holding Jayden and rocking her to sleep. I love watching her sleep and look around to examine the world. When Jaycee was a munchkin, I enjoyed our time together and now I get to do it all over again.

Jaycee is turning into a little helper and a great big sister. She always makes sure to stop every couple of minutes to say hello to her sister and occasionally gives her a kiss or touches her hands and talks to her. Not everything has been so peachy. Jaycee can throw a tantrum like nobody's business. She can go from completely fine to nuclear meltdown in no time flat. For some reason, she always seems to do it when Jayden is trying to go to sleep. Interesting.

I'm happy to report that I anticipated a more difficult time with two kids than it turned out to be. I pictured being stuck in the house underneath a pile of Fisher-Price with a screaming infant and a two-year old stomping on my head as I lay unconscious. A bit dramatic, but I can recall a couple of nightmares that were almost exactly that. Not only has it not been that bad, but I actually have been enjoying it! I'm pretty lucky.

I know I have been all over the place in this post, but so am I. To end this, I have to say something to a lot of people I know. I am sorry if I single anyone out who doesn't want to be (send me an email and I'll scratch your name off). I have a new found respect for those of you with more than one little one.

My cousin Chris and his wife Kara. They got in a car last summer and drove 10 hours to spend a weekend with some of us family members. Also, Kara has been known to take both of her little ones on airplanes to far away places, without her hubby. They are way adventurous and I hope to be like that someday.

Jess' friend Bonnie. I can remember when Jess first started at Cal State San Marcos and she met Bonnie. She told me about this nice girl with two little kids who was taking like a million units, worked, and her kids still loved her to pieces. I wasn't as impressed then as I am now.

This one lady I saw at Costco last week who was pushing a cart with a little one in the seat, a little one in a baby carrier, and another little one walking and holding onto the cart. I had to take my eyes off the 52 inch plasma T.V. for a second to make sure I was seeing what I was seeing.

There are plenty of people I know that had multiple little ones at the same time, but for some reason it is so much different to watch someone pulling it off while I try to.

Lastly, my wife is due some credit too. She acted like she didn't remember what it was like only having one. She just picked right up as if she has been doing this all along. Sometimes I think she stays calm so that I do too. Then other times, I think she is lobbying for more children...

Update...

So, I was a little premature on my last post. Just a little; 24 hours to be exact. I will be posting soon with more of the story, but I will make it brief for now for obvious reasons. At 6:19 a.m. 12/12/09, Jayden Rylee Becerra was born. She weighed in at 8 pounds 5 ounces. Just to give you an idea of how crazy the whole process went, I'll give you a few of the facts. Jess went into labor at 2:45 a.m. on 12/12. We got to the hospital at 5:15 a.m. and Jayden was out at 6:19 a.m. Jayden was in such a hurry that she beat the doctor to the hospital and the nurses had to do the job. For those of you doing the math, that's only 3 hours and 34 minutes from start to finish! I'll post more details soon.

Mommy and baby are doing great. Everyone is happy, healthy and ready for Christmas! I wonder what it means if our little girl already made such an amazing appearance. Broadway? Well, I guess every little girl has to bring a little drama...

5 A.M. Friday Morning...

Jess woke me about an hour ago and told me she is having contractions. I feel the need to post right now as a sort of marker for myself and an almost play by play for anyone interested. I hope nobody expects me to be in the delivery room cutting the umbilical cord with one hand and blogging with the other, because I won't (because Jess would probably strangle me... one handed). But really, I could not possibly be expected to be on top of everything, I generally am found to be irresponsible when it comes to organization and information. In short, if I forget to call/inform some of you, I apologize in advance.

Right now Jess is in the shower, probably enjoying the warm water being that it is so cold outside this morning. She is calm and collected, but naturally uncomfortable. I suppose in a couple hours (hopefully) that will change. We have made some prearranged sitter plans. Karen (Jess' mom) will be taking care of Jaycee when we go to the hospital, and will stay with her until further notice.

The bag is packed and I about as ready as I can get, hopefully Jess feels the same way. I really hope this is it. Blogging soon...

Sweet Teeth...

I love sweet stuff. I love chocolate, peanut butter, ice cream, and chocolate peanut butter ice cream! It shouldn't have been too much of a surprise that Jaycee would inherit my love for all things sweet. The funny thing about it is that Jaycee doesn't enjoy my taste in food. In fact, she prefers what mama is eating for lunch, dinner, or breakfast. She doesn't trust that what I'm eating she is going to like. She'll eat everything on Jess' plate but avoid mine like poison. With that said, Jaycee seems to make an exception when it comes to dessert. She will eat any dessert I eat any time. Jess doesn't dislike sweets, she just isn't as fanatical about them as me (and Jaycee). I know a lot of kids would rather eat cookies than carrots, so it isn't a shock that our little one goes for the sweet stuff. On the other hand though, its funny how she bends her own rules on eating for them. Now, if we could just get her to understand what a cavity is...

We've got a bleeder...

We have been experiencing two developments at the same time. The first is Jaycee's new found strength. The second is the unbridled rage of a toddler. Tough combo. This is where the story begins...

Jaycee LOVES Mr. Potato head. By far her favorite toy (this month). She can be found creating her Frankenstein like creatures with ears for arms and any other arrangement you can imagine any time of the day. Most of the time she sits quietly and plays nicely.

One problem with her love for Mr. Potato Head is her lack of willful sharing of him or his parts. Exhibit A: (below my right eye above my cheek)

Silly me, I thought it would be so funny if I dressed up with Mr. Potato head's parts. So I put on his hat and rushed Jaycee over to see how funny I was... Whoops. Her response was slightly less than expected. Instead of laughing with a huge belly laugh (like I pictured), she screamed like a Banshee and slashed at my face like Freddy Kruger. I flew back, in the hopes of keeping my eye, and the plastic hat fell off my head and onto the floor. Jaycee stepped back, bent down and picked it up, then gingerly walked away to return the hat to its rightful owner.

It wasn't particularly painful and I hadn't thought much of it until I looked in the mirror. It was a perfect line and a tiny drip of blood was running down my cheek. The funny thing is that I have had this same thing happen with Jaycee (on accident) and I only had a red mark on my face for a couple minutes. This time was much different. Thanks to Jaycee's Herculean like strength, I will probably be carrying a scar around for awhile.

After nursing my wound, I returned to the scene to show Jaycee what had happened and get her to understand that she shouldn't do it again. I got down to her level to show her my cut and she touched it very gently. Then she looked at me as if to say I brought it on myself. You know, raised eyebrows on an otherwise expressionless face. Then she gave me a hug and went back to playing. I'll take this as a serious reminder that what I think is funny isn't funny to everyone, especially Jaycee.

The only dilemma left is what to say to people that ask how I got the cut. I have noticed when I tell people my 20 month old did it, they laugh. I am considering telling everyone I was in a knife fight. Its kind of true. Only problem is; I lost...